2023-May-16

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Connection Through Loss

BY JEETU PATEL · EVP & GM, SECURITY AND COLLABORATION

2 MINUTE READ · 4 MINUTE LISTEN

Editor’s Note: The following story involves a discussion about losing a loved one, which might be upsetting to some readers. For mental health resources and support, visit the #SafeToTalk online community or contact the Employee Assistance Program.

Earlier this year, I said goodbye to my mother after she lost a seven-week battle with a sudden illness. Throughout the bedside vigil, my family and I balanced saying goodbye with understanding her disease, making medical decisions, and getting her affairs in order.

I learned that losing a parent is a life-altering experience that takes on another dimension when a child suddenly becomes the caregiver for a parent. It was perhaps the most difficult thing I have ever done.

During the darkness, family, friends, and coworkers helped ease the burden, making me realize I was not alone. I reflected on social media that “the power of community can matter meaningfully to help someone get through the hardest days.”

When I wrote that, I had no idea that Cisco has an Inclusive Community focused on this very situation. Members of the Adult Caregivers Network read my post and invited me to join the community. The Adult Caregivers Network is specifically focused on people who care for adult loved ones when they can’t fully take care of themselves.

Losing a parent connects us as humans. When we intentionally join a community of people sharing the same experience, we achieve a sense of belonging that lifts us up so we can face challenges together. That’s the vision of Cisco’s Inclusive Communities, which support many diverse groups and interests across Cisco.

Serving as caregiver for an adult doesn't always mean caring for a parent; spouses, siblings, other adult relatives, and adult children require special attention when they are ill, disabled or aging.

Caregiving experiences may be brief, like my seven-week crisis. Or they can last months, years, or even decades. It’s often an unexpected responsibility adding to the already full lives of an adult with a family, job, or other commitments.

Members of the Adult Caregivers Network always share problems and solutions and support one another in the Webex space as they struggle emotionally, mentally, and financially. They host sessions about Cisco benefits for caregivers and invite outside experts to cover topics like tax issues, health care benefits, senior living options, and more.

In April, the Adult Caregivers Network celebrated its third anniversary, and more than 800 members have joined across Cisco globally. It spun off an India chapter, and the board hopes to expand into other regions, since local benefits and regulations vary.

The immediate crisis of my mother’s passing is behind me, but my journey is far from over.

Memories of those painful weeks often flood my mind, there are many loose ends with her personal affairs, and I know that it’s possible I’ll be a caregiver again in the future.

I am grateful for my friends, family, and coworkers — and for the Adult Caregivers Network supporting people through one of the darkest times.

Employee Resources

• Adult Caregivers Network
• Employee and Family Assistance Program
• Join an Inclusive Community
• Global Wellbeing Community
• Join the #SafeToTalk Webex space

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