2019-June-05
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National Cancer Survivors Day Reveals Life’s Reflections
BY CONNIE DUDUM · SENIOR MANAGER COMMUNICATIONS AND ADOPTION · UNITED STATES
I’m one of those people who believes that facing your own mortality makes you more alive.
My first experience with death was before I was old enough to even remember it, when my father and sister died in a boating accident. I was 2, and I have no conscious memory of them.
When I became a mother, I feared history would repeat itself — that something would happen to me before I could raise my kids into adulthood, and they would have no memory of their mother.
I was not prepared for what happened next. I had just returned to work from maternity leave in 2008, and it was in the best time of my life. My daughter was 2 years old and my son was 6 months old. My family was healthy, and I had a great job with a great team.
During a routine baby checkup, I told our family doctor that the abdominal pain I experienced during pregnancy had worsened. After five months of diagnostics, I finally learned that I had a big tumor in my intestines — Stage 3 colon cancer that traveled to my lymph nodes. Only 9 percent of cases are diagnosed in individuals younger than 50, and I was one of them.
I had a 60 percent chance of surviving five years. Those odds were good enough for hope but not enough to ease one of my biggest fears.
No one is ever prepared to hear “you have cancer,” especially just after having a baby.
Over the following months, I underwent treatment that included surgery and six months of intensive chemotherapy. The side effects of the chemo made me completely unable to care for my two babies, including a newborn — and, as a single mother, it was particularly traumatic.
The still moments during my treatment provided an opportunity for deep introspection on life and death — I couldn’t escape it. What did I want for my life? How much time do I have? What made me happy? What would I no longer put up with? Will I see my kids grow up? Am I spending my life’s moments in ways that fuel my soul?
I learned a lot about life during this time.
Knowing that I might not survive taught me that I had to fight my instinct to cling to my babies and trust they would be alright. Discovering that life can change in a moment taught me to find gratitude every time I lived a new day. Getting clarity on what makes me happy and what doesn’t taught me that it’s ok to say no. And having so many wonderful people to support me taught me to be a better friend. I am still learning.
One thing that I was grateful for is all the support I received from friends, inside and outside of Cisco.
My manager helped me navigate the medical leave process. My friends walked with me to make sure I was getting exercise since that would boost my odds of survival. My mom took care of my babies. My cousins took me to my treatments. The executive I supported called me every two weeks to check on me. My team sent me a gift basket of warrior-themed goodies.
When I returned to work, I wanted to pay it forward. I asked around to see if Cisco had any cancer support resources to support employees going through what I went through. That’s when I met Lisa King, a cancer survivor herself. She was working on building a network of employees to support others touched by cancer — a vision of Sue Stemel, another employee who lost her battle to cancer that same year.
Lisa and I decided to partner together to give life to Sue’s vision.
We gave rise to the Cancer Support Network @Cisco, which now has over 700 members globally, an executive sponsor, and partnerships with HR. Some of our members are in treatment, some are survivors, some are caregivers, and some are just passionate about helping those touched by cancer.
This compassionate group of people helps each other by sharing stories, counseling one other through tough times, providing resources, and celebrating survivor anniversaries.
Not too long ago, we crowdsourced a list of gift basket items to guide people who wanted to help others but didn’t know how. Cancer is a club no one wants to be in, whether you’re a patient or caregiver, but the Cancer Support Network is a safe place for employees to find support with others touched by cancer.
June 2 was National Cancer Survivor Day. It is a day to celebrate for all of us, as cancer knows no boundaries.
Eleven years later, I am still here. I am a survivor and a warrior. And I am so grateful.
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