2019-October-21

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Not Everyone Who Smiles Is Happy, Not Everyone Who Cries Is Depressed

BY KASIA NOWACZYK · PROGRAM MANAGER · SWITZERLAND

Look at the photos below. Would you ever say that this person is battling with mental illness?

That was me — in 2013, the most difficult year of my life.

If you are my friend on social media, you would never have guessed what an overwhelming demon I faced daily.

Depression can waltz through someone’s mind and soul and leave no detectable signs outside. Not everyone who smiles is happy. Not everyone who cries is depressed.

On the first anniversary of a very significant day of my journey, I talked about my battle with depression publicly on my social media profile. After an overwhelming response from friends and Cisco colleagues, I wrote my first article, “Open Minds: Who Would You Be If You Weren’t Your Past?” about my personal challenges with mental health.

As my story hit employees’ in-boxes, I noticed that the topic struck a chord in the hearts of many people.

Back then we didn’t speak so openly about mental health. What worried me was how many people praised my courage, explaining that they wouldn’t be brave enough to share their mental health challenges because of their position or the nature of their condition.

In the past few years, I have been paying close attention to how Cisco — and most notably Chuck -— approaches the topic of mental health, whether it’s during the Cisco Beat or on other platforms.

I always get emotional and feel deep gratitude for being part of such a company. It also saddens me though as the topic grows in importance and in magnitude.

As we grow older, the desire to be strong, successful, and accomplished increases. So do the challenges. These emotions are irrespective of gender, religion, or social background. Eventually, the stress and anxiety can cause us to crack under pressure.

It’s easy to say that it’s okay not to be okay. But in real life, it’s not that easy to embrace it and really let go.

Trust me, I know.

Sometimes, I am asked, “So, how are you now?” I always take a moment to check in with myself and gauge how I really am.

Most of the time I’m good, really good. Yet, depression never really goes away. You just learn to live in harmony with this shadow that lurks in the background.

You can try and turn this into an advantage: increased empathy, appreciation, and gratitude for every minute of your day. Don’t take anything for granted. Discover happiness in the little things.

I still have moments when I feel that I get dangerously close to turning the other direction. For me, the most important realization is to allow myself to feel this way.

If you aren’t personally impacted by a mental health challenge, you may wonder if there’s anything you can do to help others.

My simple answer was inspired by my beloved Swiss team, a group of people who have been through some very tough and tragic moments this year. What they’ve consistently done was show up for each other.

So, that’s exactly what you can do — show up.

Cisco recently was named the #1 World’s Best Workplace. While I read Chuck’s announcement, all I could think of was the openness and care with which we embraced the topic of mental health and how we support each other.

One question remains though: Are we individually ready to be open and feel safe when we share and seek help? Do we admire others for their bravery while we still suffer in silence? How would my message from a few years ago be received if it was published today?

If you suffer with mental health challenges, you need to find your own way to victory.

Different tools work for different people; there isn’t one formula for success. Find out what works for you, don’t be afraid to ask for help, and identify someone to share your struggles with.

Whichever path you follow, promise me one thing — you will not give up.

The most important thing to know is that it does get better. Please take my word for it.

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