2020-March-04

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Save A Life In 5 Minutes

BY NEELAM PATEL · CX BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT MANAGER · UNITED STATES

We search for so many things in life on a daily basis — keys, phones, TV remotes, new homes, childcare, guidance, love, and companionship.

I have searched for all of this and more, but I never imagined that searching for a new immune system needed for survival would be one of them.

Three years ago, the search became a daily priority. For months, we tried to find a bone marrow match for my husband, Manoj. Words cannot describe the feeling of desperation I felt.

A Life-Changing Diagnosis

Manoj just before his diagnosis.

A cancer survivor of over 13 years and in excellent shape, Manoj was at the peak of his surgical career as a urologist and had saved hundreds of lives.

During a family vacation in Sanibel, Florida, Manoj could barely ride a bike a few minutes without stopping from exhaustion. He was unusually fatigued and out of breath — something was not right.

After bloodwork and a bone marrow biopsy, he was diagnosed with aplastic anemia — a rare and serious blood disorder that occurs when bone marrow cannot make enough new blood cells for the body to work normally.

Simply put, Manoj needed blood and platelet transfusions twice weekly to live. He started treatment, but it was ineffective with horrible side effects. A bone marrow transplant was his only chance of survival.

The Journey to Find a Match

Bone marrow donor registration is a simple cheek swab that takes five minutes and can save a life.

However, due to his Asian Indian ethnicity, the likelihood of finding a match for Manoj was less than 30 percent as the donor pool for his ethnic background is sadly small.

So, the search began as family and friends organized bone marrow donor registration drives all across the U.S. and India to raise awareness among the Indian communities.

A family effort: Marrow Registry drives in Chicago and San Francisco Bay Area.

The months to come were difficult and heartbreaking while we searched and waited. I saw my partner of 18 years weaken, suffer, and diminish before my eyes. Our children adjusted to hospital visits as a regular routine.

I was thankful for the flexibility that Cisco provides employees, which meant I could work from Manoj’s hospital room to keep him company and boost his spirit.

We finally received news that a near-perfect match was found and the process began.

The Gift of Life and Hope for a Cure

On July 6, 2017, his bone marrow transplant was completed at the University of Pennsylvania Hospital. It was an emotional day that I’m forever grateful for — to receive a gift of life from a stranger.

The radiation, chemotherapy, and risk of graft-versus-host disease took a brutal toll on Manoj every day, but he was determined to live and never gave up.

Visiting dad in the Hospital

Manoj on transplant day.

Slow recovery and one day at a time.

One month after the transplant, a bone marrow biopsy confirmed that the transplant was an engraftment fail. My heart sank. The remaining donor cells were infused into Manoj’s bloodstream and we prayed for a miracle.

Sadly, we lost Manoj on August 18, 2017, and life changed in an instant.

I lost my life partner. My 12-year-old daughter lost her best friend and the man she admired most. And my 4-year-old-twins didn’t understand until they noticed dad wasn’t around a month later. We were all devastated.

The aftermath of personal loss is surreal and overwhelming. I worried about how to manage my work, family, and home responsibilities on my own.

I had only been a Cisconian for just over a year, but my Cisco team felt like family.

My manager at the time, Mike Jacobs, encouraged me to take advantage of Cisco’s Emergency Time Off program so I could spend much needed time with my children.

My colleague and friend, Ami Tank, came to Manoj’s funeral. Along with helpful guidance from Human Resources, I received a personal letter from Fran Katsoudas expressing her condolences, accompanied by a benefits pack reminding me what Cisco provided for me and my children.

My team had my back and was so supportive. I am grateful to be part of such a caring company with amazing benefits.

My Bridge to Possible

Life after Manoj.

The past two years have been about adjustment and learning how to live with grief and the hole of Manoj’s absence in our hearts and daily life. I feel more confident each day forward as a woman and mother raising three children while balancing my career, family, and dreams.

I have learned to slow down, be calm, and be present each day. I’m selective of how I spend my time and energy, and prioritize physical fitness and mental healthcare for myself and my children.

I take one “kid-free” week off annually for think time, reflection, planning, and catching up on important matters. I take one evening weekly to have dinner with a friend or give my time and heart to helping others. I believe with an open heart and mind, we can move forward in every way possible.

Unfortunately, not every bone marrow transplant is successful.

I still appreciate the donor we never got to meet who gave Manoj hope and a chance at survival. His gift was selfless, loving, and what humanity is all about.

Today, I help organize and participate in marrow registration drives. I raise marrow donation awareness on social media so others in need can find a match faster and have a better chance to meet their donors.

If just 1 percent of employees registered to be a donor, that would give 750 people the chance to live.

Be a bridge for someone just like Manoj a register now to be a marrow donor.

Additional Resources:

For more information on bone marrow donation, visit Be the Match
Join the Registry and Save a Life
World Marrow Donation Day September 19th celebrating lives saved by marrow donors
Donate Blood