2020-October-02

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You Don’t Need to Be An Expert — Just a Friend

BY LUCIA GALASSI · CX GLOBAL COMMUNITY MANAGER · ITALY

On May 23, 2018, my boyfriend’s business partner — and one of our closest friends — committed suicide. Emanuele was 38 and suffering from depression.

In its mildest form, depression can mean just being in low spirits. It doesn't prevent you from leading your normal life, but it can make everything more difficult and less worthwhile.

At its most severe, depression can be life-threatening.

Every year, almost 800,000 people worldwide commit suicide, or one person every 40 seconds. Suicide is among the top 20 causes of death globally for people of all ages. For every adult who dies by suicide, there are an estimated 20 others who have attempted suicide.

Emanuele reached a very low point in his life. He was incredibly sad when his relationship with his partner ended, but clearly that was only one element of a much greater suffering he was carrying inside.

In his last months, he lost enthusiasm for everything. He became unrecognizable from the outgoing person we knew — a creative web designer with a passion for swimming. Emanuele had a bright future: He and my boyfriend were working to create a swimming magazine that could grow into something much bigger.

He shared with his closest friends that it was difficult to cope and that his mental state was beginning to scare him. He also talked about seeing a therapist, which was a positive step and showed that he wanted to feel better.

At no time did any of us ever imagine that things would end in such a tragic way. The sense of guilt I felt, and still feel today, for not being able to fully understand how serious his mental state was will be with me forever.

Emanuele’s death has changed my approach to life and has forced me to take better care of myself.

A year ago, I asked for help to deal with how I was feeling. I contacted the Cisco Employee Assistance Program. They listened to my story and connected me to a therapist. The sessions with her have really helped me. I'm still suffering from loss, but I have learned to forgive myself.

I have done all I could to stay close to Emanuele. I currently work on his swimming web magazine project — it’s my way of keeping him in alive.

Mental health is such an important issue, and we need to prioritize our mental well-being and talk about it.

I am so pleased to see that mental health is a lead topic during our companywide Cisco Check-Ins. Talking about it is encouraged, with no fear and no judgement. #SafetoTalk.

It’s can be hard to know what to say to someone who you think is struggling with depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues. But reaching out can make a life-changing difference.

Take a minute to ask someone how they are doing — a complete stranger, close family member, or friend. You really can change a life. You don’t need to be an expert. Just be a friend.

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